Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Earthmover

This is an actual photo of an earthmover made in the Czech Republic. There's really nothing I can say about the potential horror of this machine that does the photo justice. Check out this site if you don't believe something this huge exists outside of a Terry Gilliam movie.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I am so very afraid....

This guys doesn't have many friends, but he has one...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hot Dogs

Seriously, I can't think of a worse thing to do than eat a hot dog. Not only is the idea of taking all the meat that's not good enough to sell on it's own and pressing the slurry into the shape of a penis scary, but I've got this semi-irrational fear that I will find a human tooth inside one. How scary would that be? Maybe as scary as eating hot dogs in a pool with a bunch of guys?

What if I told you that these guys had their own website called dudeswithdogs.com? Are you scared now?

Sunday, September 21, 2008

They Walk Among Us

The photo below is to demonstrate that there are people in this world who have their own agenda and will follow it regardless of where they are or who they're with. This is something to fear since many people out there have made a habit out of meeting new people. While this is an exciting and worthwhile endeavor, be sure to screen your new friends carefully or you may end up with someone like the girl on the right. I'm guessing she became friends with the rest of the group, exchanged phone numbers and address, helped a couple of them move, then POW! started flashing her cans at every photo op. Now no one has the courage to tell her to get lost since she's such an awesome pet sitter and thus they are stuck with her forever.


I added the snails for decency's sake. You're welcome.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Maybe the Grossest Thing I've Seen on the Internet This Week

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally into the whole DIY culture. I also happen to love the idea of growing my own food and canning whatever we can't eat before it spoils. There have to be limits though. Without proper guidelines concerning what is and what is not acceptable some people are going to push it to far, as evidenced by this photo:


Some sick sick individual, without proper guidance, has decided to can tuna fish at home. God have mercy on all of us.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Mormon Crickets (Anabrus simplex)

video

Maybe not so scary in small numbers (like 1) but it is not uncommon to come across really large numbers of these insects in the American West. The danger occurs when driving over hundreds of them creating squished bodies that cause the equivalent of an oil slick. I recall driving over an abundance of Mormon crickets on a hill in Wyoming and my tire spinning once or twice. A friend told me a few minutes ago that in Idaho cars often slide, and sometimes crash, on certain roads and at certain times of the year because of these huge crickets.

OPH (other people's hygiene)

For reasons both legal and moral, I cannot post a picture of my fear for today.

I work for Mental Health, where many of our clients have what we refer to as "hygiene issues." (Odd Fact: Schizophrenic people in general do not like to shower.) For the most part you extend love and understanding and work/deal with it. Last night this ability was put to the test.

A co-worker came in shuddering. Not exaggerating. Not being melodramatic. But obviously disturbed. I asked her what was the matter. She took a few seconds to compose herself and said: "I saw Sharon's toenail." [editor's note: the name has been changed] I said: "wow, that bad, eh?" She shook her head. "Just don't look. Trust me, you don't want to see it. It will haunt you. It will follow you in the dark." I told her I wasn't afraid. She said "Please, for me, promise me you won't look at it." She was dead serious. I told her I'd do my best.
Then, last night, I was doing a bed check. It was 3 in the morning. I was on automatic pilot, and therefore forgot about strange fact #2: schizophrenic people very often like to sleep with the lights on. Her foot was extended out past her covers. I saw it. It has been hours and I still can't get the image of that toenail out of my mind. I shake as I write about it. The thought of it ties a knot in my stomach. This is not for comedic effect: I live in fear that it might cross my path again. The client in question woke up an hour ago, and while I treated her with dignity and respect, my eyes were teetering on the edge of a cliff, drawn to it, but knowing that to glimpse it again would be to throw up. I honestly feel uncomfortable knowing it is nearby.

I hope you never have to see it. But given that I cannot reveal the name, or gender, or location, or any other pertinent information about the client in question, the fear is yours as well. It may be out there.

And with all the flip flops being worn these days, it might be better if you just don't look at people's feet.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Photo

I was searching for an illustration of a deer online today and I came across this photo:It made me nervous to think that I might one day come upon a doorbell like this. In an effort to educate the public as to these new fears that arise daily, I put together a blog, with several other authors, to warn people about new menaces they may find in their daily lives so as to avoid the paralyzing fear that would accompany encountering these things in real life.